Elf Support

This holiday season the Amazon man was towed out of our driveway ditch. And if you don’t have a driveway ditch you are missing out...good drainage is important.

During the commotion my son, in true Buddy the Elf energy, persistently invited the driver to dinner. And since he wasn’t going anywhere, the Amazon man reluctantly agreed. What is noteworthy about this situation is that my son can be very charismatic and more importantly is known for asking questions until you give up. Not unlike his mama, we get into people’s business ever persistently. He went to work asking a multitude of “getting to know you” questions and I was struck by his child-like ability to simply build a connection from nothing.

Post-Covid, many people are still experiencing social isolation. As the world becomes even more virtual, the art of connecting with others has been impacted. Making friends with strangers is tougher than ever.

Building relationships requires many things that we as adults are not always good at. Things like trust, authenticity, and vulnerability. Collective shiver. But kids get it and do this naturally. They ask things like “do you play a musical instrument?” And it turns out strangers do want to tell you about their clarinet solo in the sixth grade.

In adulthood we fear judgment, therefore we often present a lesser version of ourselves to others. We don’t ask questions for fear that we will be rejected. But building relationships requires courageous questioning and active listening. Both require outright bravery.

In order to form real connections its important to not only have things in common, but to also to be true to who you are. Trusting that you have valuable traits, skills, and qualities to offer others is brave. Being vulnerable enough to put yourself out there with persistence is courageous. There will be rejection at times, you are not made to fit every mold.

Before the Amazon man left our household, we had a new friend. He was invited to return with deliveries with the same gusto that brought him to dinner in the first place. I genuinely believe we will see him again because Buddy the Elf energy goes hard.

This year give yourself the gift of a childlike hope that you are indeed worthy of real connection. Be brave enough to ask about clarinets. Life is easier when we are not alone in the world. Merry Christmas from my Buddy the Elf and BeBrave Counseling.