Pumpkin skills

Several weeks ago Team Faggart (that’s what we call ourselves-it’s a long story for another day) went on a bucket list vacation. It was gorgeous. And in true Team Faggart fashion we had an incident. I fell down a flight of stairs on day 2. I looked down, missed a stair and fell down the entire flight. I am an overachiever in most things. After the initial shock and nausea, I literally limped around the island for the next five days, very successfully I might add.

Returning home and adjusting to daily life in a very large boot has been frustrating. I don’t like being slowed down. Depending on my day, I may sit in session for seven hours straight, minus the occasional bathroom break. That’s when the throbbing starts and coping begins.

Therapy sessions often include the topic of coping skills. Coping skills are the techniques that we as therapist ask people to rely on to tolerate distress. Since life is stressful even when things are good, it’s important to learn to navigate distress effectively.

When I introduce this concept it goes one of two ways in session. Either people have no idea what I am talking about or they sigh and say “I have tried deep breathing”. Here’s a secret, deep breathing has never worked for me. Ever. Nothing makes you feel relaxed like doing something that works for other people, right?

While a specific skill may work for some people, not every coping skill works for everybody, every time. Coping skills can actually be categorized into groups: physical, mental, social, and spiritual. People often have preferences. Mine is physical, so when I am hurt it’s a big deal. I have to reduce my exercise routine, gardening, and mowing to reluctantly choose something else. Usually that is a blinding hot shower. And yes your skin should be red when you get out. But even that requires some effort right now.

So I decided to put out pumpkins. Yes you read that right, it is 98 degrees in North Carolina this week, and I have happily moved on to pumpkin spice, corn sheaves, sunflowers, and red leaves. It is most certainly fall in my heart and now fall in my house. I can comfortably organize pumpkins on my buffet, mantle, and kitchen counter after my children (since they are the team I created myself) retrieve them from the garage.

I decorate as a way to cope with distress. Have to drive three children to three different places, have a pumpkin. Have to do my job with a throbbing ankle, add a pumpkin. Forget a kid due to new practice schedules, take another pumpkin. Any number of things require more pumpkins. So if you visit my house you can immediately gauge the stress level of the household on pumpkin placement alone.

Coping skills are vital to stress management and it is important to identify one that works for you. Try new coping skills when your old coping skills are not available or not working. Pumpkins are an option when it’s too early for Christmas trees, but are not the only option.