Too Legit to Quit

My third child will try anything once. It’s one of his greatest strengths. He has played every sport, the piano, and the ukulele. He is currently trying to talk my husband and I into the violin. I am not even kidding. He commits 110% at the beginning BUT I assure you he tries to quit just as often.

As a general rule, I don’t do quitting. I believe in sticking it out even if it’s uncomfortable. I am the mom who leaves my children sitting on the field while other toddlers bowl them over because they will eventually get up. Soccer was traumatic for everyone. Turns out I was wrong, he was just as committed to quitting as I was to staying the course.

Therapist everywhere are talking to clients about goal setting this time of year. Clients come in with a, “New year, new me mindset.” My job is to help people stay in reality. Learning to be great at something new overnight is unrealistic and difficult to maintain. And so we quit. Unrealistic goal setting is really self sabotaging.

Realistic goals require obtainable results over time. Fun therapy questions: Are you ok with failing? Do you have to be the best at everything you do? Answer these out loud to ensure honesty and if they make you say hmmm, maybe you should check yourself.

The trick to goal setting in the new year is allowing trail and error. Try “all the things” but don’t expect to be good at them. Recognize that the strength is in the willingness to try, not the successful completion of these goals. Be terrible at the violin, soccer, and the ukulele. But quit because you can’t find joy in it not because you are scared of failure.

Trying new things is difficult and requires bravery. Succeeding at new things requires persistence. Lean in on the joy and be persistent with the goals that are obtainable. Quit if you must, but make it a choice and not a reaction.